← the bell jar: victoria lucas
FILE 09 OF 17 / —

ɹǝuoᴉʇnɔǝxǝ ǝɥʇ

  • TITLE FILED INVERTED
  • HINGE OF THE RECORD
  • SENTENCE SELF-IMPOSED

“No one has to punish me”

CASE NOTE

The executioner, printed upside down. Track nine sits at the hinge of Part II with eight files on either side, and the sleeve turns over here.

It opens on a passage from the novel about a silence that turns out to be her own. She leaves before the verdict and serves the sentence before any charge, sparing the people who tried. It shares a motif with its neighbours, code of silence and not yours, not mine, and the three play almost as one movement.

LYRICS / TRANSCRIPT

Spoken Intro

The silence.

The silence depressed me.

But it wasn't the silence of silence.

It was my own silence.

Verse 1

I disappear before the verdict

Leave while their patience hasn't worn too thin

Spare the ones who tried

They don't deserve to find out how hard I have been

It might pass for disinterest

The agony beneath it never reaches them

Now I spend days to perfect short sentences

Since when did love require evidence?

Chorus

Protective custody

I take myself away before they choose to leave

Serve the consequence ahead of any charge

So I became my own executioner

No one has to punish me

Verse 2

The lives of those who broke me

Seem to move without interruption

I ration every person I still trust

Whatever guilt exists has lost its direction

Every consequence found me first

Refrain

Protective custody

Final Review

I wanted to be lighter for people

Still resisting for a sign that I am here

I made myself impossible to carry

And impossible to keep near

I tried to keep the weight from everyone

My absence only passed it on

Outro

I am my own executioner

No one has to punish me again

I am my own executioner

I make sure the sentence never ends

Hidden Spoken Line

Thank you.

PUBLISHED CREDITS
ARTIST
Haylie Ferguson
EDITION
the bell jar: victoria lucas
LABEL
Maison Oblique Entertainment
STREAMING LINKS ARRIVING